


Simple Choice

by purpleeyesandbowties



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Developing Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by a prompt, veth gets feebleminded, yeza stans don't hurt me i tried to give him as much agency and depth as i could
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23165104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpleeyesandbowties/pseuds/purpleeyesandbowties
Summary: Veth gets hit with a Feeblemind spell upon the Nein's return to Nicodranas. They only have to wait a day to restore her, but a lot can happen in a day.
Relationships: Nott/Caleb Widogast, Veth Brenatto/Caleb Widogast, Veth Brenatto/Yeza Brenatto
Comments: 7
Kudos: 101





	Simple Choice

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by a prompt given in the widobrave server! hope yall like it <3
> 
> the italicized sections are veth's thoughts, and her recollections cover the section directly before. basically, we have narration from caleb for a section, followed by veth's thoughts covering the same events. this was my way to allow veth to have input, even while feebleminded.

Foolishly, the Mighty Nein had decided they could afford to spend an afternoon on the beach, the day they landed in Nicodranas after the successful peace talks. It was foolish because Jester, Caleb, and Fjord had wasted spells earlier in the day, trying to keep themselves entertained on the last leg of a very long and arduous journey. It was foolish because they were conspicuous as a group and very hard to miss. It was foolish because sand was a terrible terrain to fight on, and they had just been attacked.

“Can we not get a break?” Caleb grumbled under his breath, sticking his hand into his pocket to grab for his components. At the same time, Beau yelled, “Come on! We _just_ ended a war, can we have _one day_ without this bullshit!” 

And then the air was too full of shouts and spells to concentrate on anything else. The assailant was a magic user—wizard, most likely—and seemed to be working alone. Still, the Mighty Nein had their work cut out for them, keeping the attacker at bay. They slipped by Beau’s flying fists and barely flinched when Fjord’s Eldritch Blasts caught them in the shoulder. At one point, nearly half a minute into battle, Veth ducked behind Yasha and popped out to deliver a well-aimed crossbow bolt to the person’s leg. They growled in pain and blinked out of existence for a few seconds. From forty feet away, Caleb watched as the assailant reappeared and shot a bolt of sickly green arcane energy at Veth. His counterspell was a second too late, or a level too weak, because it hit her square in the chest. She crumpled to the ground with a cry, and Caleb saw red. He slapped his palms together and summed a wall of fire, straight at where the attacker had been. Finally, a clear hit, but it still wasn’t enough. The attacker ducked behind an outcropping of rock for cover. Beau dashed over with her inhuman speed, fists at the ready.

“Fuck! He’s gone,” she spat. One fist struck the rock in frustration. “Fuckin’ Dimension Door. God, I hate magic users.”

Caleb grit his teeth. Veth was still lying on the ground. Caduceus made it to her before Caleb could force his shaking legs to move. Slowly, Caduceus helped her sit up. A gentle glow emanated from his hands: good. She’d taken a few hard hits in the short battle. However, Caduceus was frowning: bad. Caleb sped up and dropped to a knee as soon as he reached Veth. She flinched away from him, cowering by making herself as small as possible.

“Are you alright, Veth?” he asked softly, hands open and cautious. Caduceus smiled that gentle grave-minder smile of his at Caleb, the type that was more sad than reassuring. 

“She will be,” he said. “Isn’t that right, Veth?”

Caleb frowned, reaching out and laying a hand on Veth’s shoulder. She curled in even further.

“Veth the Brave, look at me,” he pleaded. He put a hand under her chin and lifted it. Her head moved easily, but only because he was moving it for her. Her eyes were wild, darting around. Then they caught on him. Tension left her body slowly as she took in his face. She blinked. A wide smile spread over her face. The wildness in her eyes retreated, leaving them calm and blank.

“That’s a girl,” Caduceus said warmly. He put a hand under her armpit and gently hauled her to her feet. Once her feet were firmly on the ground, Veth smiled at Caduceus, that same content, vacant smile. She turned back to Caleb and wrapped her arms tightly around his legs, pressing her face into his side, like a child seeking comfort. He hugged her back, knelt again, and picked her up. Veth sighed in contentment and snuggled into his chest. Through the whole thing, she didn’t make a sound.

“A spell?” he asked. Caduceus nodded. 

“Something that impaired her mind. She can’t understand us or communicate at all. She recognizes us, though. That’s a good sign.”

By this time, the others had gathered around them. Beau was nursing a busted lip that dripped blood down her chin. From Caleb’s arms, Veth frowned vaguely. She reached out, touched the trail of blood on Beau’s chin, smearing it. 

Beau said, strangely quiet, “Hey, Veth. Tough battle?”

“What do we do?” Caleb said. He could tell his voice was flat and strained from the panic already seeping into his veins. “Can you heal her? Caduceus, Jester?”

“Greater Restoration should take care of it,” said Caduceus. “Unfortunately, I don’t have it prepared today. And we still need to restock our diamonds.”

“I don’t have it either. I’m sorry,” Jester said. She put a hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “Tomorrow, okay? Look, at her. She knows she can trust you to keep her safe until then. Right?”

Caleb cleared his throat, unconsciously tightening his arms around Veth’s still body. How many times had he carried her like this? And had it ever felt this off, this wrong? “ _Ja,_ ” he said.

“How is everyone else? Anyone need healing?” Caduceus asked. Fjord lifted a hand, looking guilty and bruised.

“I could use a top-up, if you’re offering.”

“Me too,” said Beau, touching her lip. “Obviously. Let’s go find a place to rest.”

—

_Shit, this fight isn’t going well. Gotta hide, gotta get a shot in somewhere. Fuck, we really can’t catch a break, can we? Oh, here’s a shot! Ha, got ‘em. Now—oh, fuck what is_ that? _Shit, shit, shi-_

_Fear. Threat? Where? Can’t fight, must hide. Play dead, stay still. Hide, hide, hide. Fear! Hide!_

_Threat gone. Friend here—tall friend. Soft hands, warm, heal. Safe. Good._

_New person? Threat? Fear? Fear! No, no. Know him. Mine. This is mine. Stay with. Stay close. Safe now. Mine. Mine. Mine._

_—_

They walked about a half-mile away from the battle, down the beach, where Beau and Yasha scouted out a secluded stretch of sand and a few boulders large enough to hide them from prying eyes. Caduceus settled on one of the boulders and began a prayer. Caleb leaned against one of the other rocks, facing away from the ocean. Even if Veth wasn’t aware at the moment, it felt like the least he could do. He cupped a hand around her face, hoping to keep the worst of the wind and at least some sand particles out of her eyes. Warm healing magic wormed its way into his bones as Caduceus’ quiet humming filled the air. He watched Veth’s face relax, her breathing even out a little bit more. She looked peaceful. She looked blank.

Unexpectedly, a lump rose up in his throat. It was like the feeling he got when he saw her fall unconscious in battle, or that fucking endless moment after she opened Halas’ chest. She had been silent then, too—he had to be silent as well, quiet as the grave as he carried her out to Jester, but even that silence didn’t feel as oppressive as this. This was worse, because he knew she _should_ be talking. She should be snarking at him about the battle, checking up on her crossbow, planning a shopping excursion for the diamonds and joking it was lucky they didn’t need any today. Instead, she looked out across the landscape, eyes tired, expression empty. He felt her warm skin, the beat of her heart, the movement of her chest with every breath. But the rest, everything that made Veth herself….it was painfully absent. Base instincts were left—fear, self-protection, pack-bonding. But no personality. No personal desires. Nothing else.

The others talked quietly amongst themselves, most likely making plans for the rest of the day. Caleb did not join in. His arms ached from the weight of Veth, but he didn’t want to put her down. Jester had said she’d trusted him to keep her safe, and he would, sore muscles be damned.

Yasha leaned against the rock next to him, crossing her arms casually. Looking away, she said, “When Obann…when I wasn’t myself, it was like living behind a glass door. I could see and hear everything, but I couldn’t engage. I couldn’t break out.”

Caleb nodded and gave a small noise of acknowledgment. 

“I know Caduceus said she can’t understand, but, ah, maybe you could talk to her anyway. She might appreciate it.”

Caleb let that sit for a few minutes. Such an admission from Yasha was telling, a card on the table that she didn’t have to play. He set down one of his own in return.

“I have some things to tell her. I’ve been scared to do it, but maybe this is… a good opportunity.”

Yasha gave him a half-smile and a nod. He nodded back. Yasha held out her arms. Caleb raised his eyebrows in question. “What is this? Is this a hug?”

Yasha huffed a laugh. “Caleb, your arms are shaking. Let me carry her for a while.”

When Caleb hesitated, Yasha said, “I’m strong. Trust me.”

That, at least, was true enough.

He transferred Veth to Yasha. She went willingly, still agonizingly blank, but once she was settled in Yasha’s arms, she shifted. No matter where Caleb stood, she would lean in toward him, like a tracking beacon. She never leaned far enough to over-balance or attempt to get away, but it was a noticeable action, and one she took for herself. It made both Yasha and Caleb smile. 

“I’m going to talk to the clerics about getting her restored tomorrow,” Caleb said. “Maybe, while I’m gone, you could talk to her?”

“I will,” she promised.

—

_New place. Safe? With friends. Safe. Itchy. Tired. Hold. New friend. Strong friend. She holds me. Safe. Good but not mine. Stay close to mine._

—

Veth got passed from member to member of the Mighty Nein as the day progressed. She obviously felt safe enough to be moved from person to person without fuss, though she did show a clear preference for Caleb and Jester. Despite Veth’s state and their general lack of spell slots, it was still early in the afternoon, and they had a lot to do. A supply run was first on the list, and Caleb all but emptied his pockets to purchase a 100g, 350g, and 500g diamond. Neither cleric mentioned it, but they knew he was buying them for Veth first, himself second. The others had supplies and components to purchase, and although there were many interesting stores around, they moved quickly. In the crowded Open Quay, someone always carried Veth, but in clearer, slower stretches of city, they set her down. She walked along, quietly, sticking close to one or more of the Mighty Nein. The general consensus was to keep her in the middle of the pack with someone at her front and at least one more at her back. More than once, a stranger passing too close to their group startled her and she darted behind Caleb’s legs to hide. Veth the Brave trembled at the sight of every person not immediately in their group and clung to him until she felt safe again. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and urged the day to move faster—the sooner they could restore her, the better.

When they ate, Caleb was relieved to see that Veth could feed herself. That eliminated some concerns he had been having regarding personal hygiene and made everyone breathe a little easier. She ate hurriedly, without regard to what food she was putting in her mouth. Her tastes had changed since her transformation, but Caleb had never seen her eat anything without an opinion on it, even if that was just through facial expressions. He did his best to put food he thought she’d enjoy in front of her. 

After eating and shopping, there was really nothing else to fill their time.

“Shall we go back to the Chateau, then?” Fjord asked uneasily. A long silence followed, broken by Jester. 

“Should we…..we should message Yeza, right? And let him know Veth is…”

“Compromised,” Beau suggested. Jester snapped her fingers. 

“Exactly.”

As one, the Mighty Nein turned to look at Caleb. 

“Ah. Probably a good idea, Jester. Maybe ask him—or Marion—to keep Luc busy until tomorrow. There’s no use in scaring him with this.”

Fjord gave a long-suffering sigh and readied himself to count out words. Jester took a deep breath and put on a cheerful voice. “Hey, Yeza! We are on our way to the Lavish Chateau. Veth is fine! She’s under a spell that makes her….anyway, she’s fine.”

Fjord held up two fingers. Jester made a face and cast another message. “Maybe keep Luc away until tomorrow? Seeing Veth might be confusing for him. Okay, that’s all. Tell Mama we are coming!”

She huffed and crossed her arms. “Okay, now we gotta go home for _sure_ because those were my last spells for the day.”

—

_Food, eat, strong. Mine gives food. He protects. Safe with him. Good. More people. Most good. Some threat. Mine protects._

_—_

Yeza was waiting at the front door to the Chateau, his hands gripped tight in front of his body. He was rocking back and forth on his heels nervously, head darting back and forth to watch both sides of the street. Caduceus lifted a hand in greeting and Yeza raised his own. At a half-jog, he met the group in the middle of the street.

“Where’s my wife?” he asked anxiously. 

“We told you she was fine!” Jester said, lowering Veth to the ground. 

“No offense, Jester, but hearing that just made me worry more,” Yeza said with a nervous laugh. He scanned Veth up and down, likely looking for any sign of injury. “Are you okay, Veth?”

Caleb pressed his lips together. Veth, seeing the new person, hid behind Caleb’s leg. 

He stepped around her and pushed her forward a step. “You know Yeza, Veth. He’s your husband. He’s safe,” he murmured to her. Veth tilted her head and looked curiously at Yeza. Recognition flitted over her face. She smiled, embraced him quickly, and returned to her place by Caleb’s side. 

Yeza’s worried expression darkened into confusion.

“She’s under a spell, as Jester said. She can’t communicate right now.”

This was from Fjord, stepping up, as he always did, in difficult situations. Yeza frowned and pushed his glasses up.

“Can she hear us?”

“She can,” Caduceus said. “There’s nothing wrong with her hearing. But she can’t understand us. But don’t worry, we will be able to restore her soon.”

“When will that be?” 

“As soon as I rest,” Jester assured him. She held up the smallest of the diamonds they’d purchased that day. “See? I have the diamond ready and everything.”

“Where is Luc?” Beau asked. 

“What? Oh, I sent him to a friend’s house for the night. He’s gone already.”

“Good. Then we can bring Veth inside.”

Caleb stepped up, meaning to take Veth’s hand and lead her inside, but Yeza was already doing it. Ah. That would make sense, wouldn’t it? He’d spent the day playing the part of the concerned caretaker that he almost forgot Veth already had a devoted husband. Silently shamed, Caleb trailed behind the group. Beau fell back.

“Hey, listen. She’ll be okay. Jester’s gonna fix her right up, first thing tomorrow.”

Caleb gave a non-committal noise. She clapped his shoulder once and didn’t say anything more, but stayed next to him for the rest of the evening. 

Marion was a gracious and entertaining host as always, though she did have to gently push them out of the room for her evening appointment.

“I’m sorry to do this, but I have canceled several appointments with this client due to your company and they are getting unhappy. An unlucky coincidence that they always schedule just when my darling sapphire comes home!”

“I understand, Mama,” Jester said, hugging her mother tightly. “I need to get to sleep anyway. I have a very important spell to cast tomorrow.”

“Well, then, it is just as well. I will have some hot milk sent up to your room shortly, to help you sleep.”

Jester kissed her mother on the cheek. Caleb watched the interaction from across the room, something hollow and aching in his ribs. He didn’t even bother to figure out the origin of it—there were simply too many options to waste his time on.

Yeza said, “I should take Veth to bed, too. She probably needs to sleep.”

Veth had been sitting on a cushioned window seat, her hands folded in her lap. When Yeza took her hand, she stood up with him. Caleb followed them out, which thankfully passed without comment from the others. He caught Beau’s eye on his way out. She gave him a tight smile and half a shrug. His shoulders relaxed; she, at least, understood. He didn’t know exactly what she understood, only that she did, and that he was grateful.

He lingered in the doorjamb of his guest room as Yeza led Veth to his more permanent bedroom. Just as they passed the threshold, Caleb said, “Yeza—”

He turned and took a few steps into the hallway. Veth trailed behind him.

“Yes?”

Caleb shook his head. “It was nothing important. I am looking forward to seeing Veth tomorrow. When she is herself again.”

“Me too. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Caleb turned and went into his room, alone.

—

_New place. New person. Small. Soft. Mine? Different mine. Eat again, comfortable. Safe. Small-mine grooms me. Wash hair. Warm clothes. Good. Tired. Want mine. Not here. Where? Fear. Find mine._

—

Caleb laid down on the bed, his arms behind his head, and stared at the ceiling for twenty-seven minutes. He was tired; out of spells; in need of sleep. It would come, he was sure, but not yet. It was too early. He hadn’t done his nightly ritual of placing the silver thread. The bed was too comfortable, compared to the lumpy cots of the _Balleater._ He was alone. 

He scoffed to himself and turned over on his side. He’d been sleeping alone, more or less, since he’d learned of Veth’s husband, with semi-frequent interludes of whole-group sleeping, for safety and comfort. By now, he should be used to the spot by his knees that no longer housed Nott’s—Veth’s—curled-up body. He should be used to the sound of his solitary lungs drawing breath.

On the twenty-eighth minute, the door creaked open. Caleb sat upright and cast Light. Four globules of yellow and blue light circled around him, illuminating the room. A small silhouette stood in the doorway, clutching the doorframe. She was dressed in a nightgown and her hair was down, damp and tangled.

“Veth,” Caleb sighed. “What are you doing here?”

With small, even steps, Veth walked toward him. He slipped out of bed and met her in the middle of the room, down on his knees to look her in the face. Her face was contorted with fear but the moment she saw him, relief overwhelmed her expression. She reached out for him, hands empty and grasping. He held her close to his chest, murmuring, “it’s alright, Veth. I’m here, I didn’t leave you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you where I was going. That was rude, wasn’t it?”

He held her for a few minutes, until her trembling subsided. Eventually, he picked her up and carried her back down the hall. He shifted her to one arm and knocked on the door. Yeza opened it a few seconds later, his eyes heavy from sleep.

“Hmm? Oh, Veth! Sorry, I didn’t hear her leave.”

“It is no problem. I’m just bringing her back to where she belongs,” Caleb said. 

“Well, thank you.”

He set her down, Yeza took her hand, and together, they went back in the room. 

“Should I close the door?” Caleb asked.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll close it once I get Veth settled,” he replied, distracted. As soon as he dropped Veth’s hand to pull back the covers, she turned on her heel and walked back over to Caleb. She slipped her hand into his and stood, ready to go wherever he led. Caleb’s face heated. 

“Ah, sorry,” he said, not quite sure why he was saying that. He led her into the room and lifted her up on the bed. She laid back, let him cover her up with the blankets. But as soon as he reached the door, Veth was right there at his side again.

Yeza’s expression crumpled. Flustered, Caleb said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know why she’s—”

Yeza shook his head sharply and Caleb cut himself off. “Just take her,” he said. “It’s clear she wants to be with you.”

“I will bring her back to you tomorrow,” Caleb whispered. 

“Will you?” Yeza asked bitterly. 

There was no good way to answer that.

In their room, Caleb shut the door and leaned against it. Veth stood in front of him, looking up at him. That tiny, relieved smile was back and he felt his annoyance drain out of him with it. The guilt remained. Even though it wasn’t his choice, he felt responsible. In her most vulnerable state, Veth had chosen him over her own husband. The knowledge sit heavily in his stomach, nestled next to dark guilt.

“Let’s get some sleep, _ja?_ ” he said. She was already dressed for bed, so there should be nothing to it to get her to sleep. Except…her hair was down. Veth liked sleeping with her hair in braids when they traveled—to keep it tidy, keep it clean, and save time in the mornings. Yeza wouldn’t have known that. Caleb sighed and grabbed a brush. They sat down on the edge of the bed and he began to brush out and braid her hair. As he worked, he talked. At first, it was about nothing. He analyzed the battle from earlier, speculated about their attacker and if they would reappear in the future. He talked about how happy Luc would be to see her tomorrow. But then, somehow, he was saying the things he’d held in for months, the things he was afraid of. It was disjointed, scattered, nothing like the well-rehearsed speeches he’d been turning over and over in his mind for days at a time.

“I miss you, Nott. I know you were unhappy as a goblin, but you were a goblin when I met you. You were a goblin when you became the most important person in my life. You were a goblin when I began to love you. I know that you are Veth and Nott and both of them at once, but Nott was fearless in a way that Veth struggles with. Nott was bold and powerful and unashamed. Nott was someone I could rely on and protect. I knew everything about her—until I realized you were Veth, and understood I knew nothing about her, about you.”

He tied off the first braid with one of his own hair ties.

“I know you’re happier now. I can see it in your confidence. You’re wearing low-cut dresses and speaking up in public. Your jewelry is a choice and not an afterthought. You have a better sense of yourself, now. And I’m happy for you. But I’m also sad. It was easy, when you were a goblin. Easy to forget you had a life outside of the Nein. Easy to pretend I didn’t have to return you to your husband at the end of our adventures. Easy to pretend I didn’t love you, because who could be in love with a goblin? We were Nott-and-Caleb: a package deal, two-for-one special, a partnership. I want Veth-and-Caleb to be the same way, but I don’t know how. I wish you could tell me how but I can’t bring myself to talk to you.”

He looked down at his hands, visibly trembling. “Even now, when I know you can’t understand me, I’m shaking. I’m scared of saying the wrong thing. I can’t scare you away. I need you, Veth. I don’t know how to navigate this world where you are a married woman with a child and I am just an unnamed addition to your life. Who am I to you? Who are you to me? There’s so much I don’t know. So much I am scared to define.”

He was done with her hair. The braids were imperfect, but just fine for sleeping. He’d redo them before the spell took place. She sat, facing away from him, and he found himself fixated by the warm curve of her neck into her plump shoulder, exposed by the thin straps of her nightgown. He wrapped his arms around her upper chest from behind, nestling his head in the warm juncture of her shoulder and neck. With his lips against her skin, he whispered, “just come back to me, Veth. I won’t care how or in what capacity, as long as you stay. Don’t move back to Felderwin with Yeza. Don’t put down your crossbow and become a housewife again. Please don’t leave me.”

Then he let her go. He laid down in bed. She followed him there. She used his chest for a pillow and he let her do it. She pressed herself against him, curling her leg around one of his.

“I love you, Veth,” he said. She said nothing, but then, she didn’t have to.

—

_Found mine! Sleep now. Safe. Comfortable. Safe. Loved. Sleep now._

—

Something poked Caleb roughly in the side. Slowly he opened his eyes. Jester was hovering over him, her face far too close to his.

“ _Scheisse!_ ” he yelped, jerking back.

“Morning!” she said. “I thought you’d like to be awake when I heal Veth. I’m gonna go get her next.”

“No need, she’s here,” Caleb said, pulling back the sheets. Veth was still curled up against his side, one hand clutching his shirt and the other arm thrown over her eyes. She was snoring softly, Caleb noted with quiet fondness. Jester’s eyebrows shot up.

“Caleb, you homewrecker!”

Caleb rolled his eyes. “I’m sure she just wanted to sleep next to someone who could protect her. Yeza isn’t exactly a fighter.”

“Neither are you. If she really wanted protection, she would have chosen Yasha or Beau. Or me!”

“So you have your spells back?” Caleb asked, ignoring Jester’s comment. Jester nodded, so he shook Veth awake and propped her up against the headboard. Jester took out the diamond, muttered a few words to the Traveler, and pressed it against Veth’s forehead. It turned to dust and Jester’s hand came to rest on Veth’s head. 

“There,” she said. “That should do it.”

—

_Sleep. Dream. Wake up. Mine here. Blue friend. Heals. Helps. Good. Shiny! Blue friend gives it! To me!_

_Oh, shit, what the fuck?_

—

The first thing out of Veth’s mouth was, “oh, I hated that.” She rubbed her skull, wincing. “Thinking was _so hard._ I never want to do that again.” 

Jester cheered and gave Veth a hug. “It worked! I’m so glad. Honestly, I was a little worried it _wouldn’t_ work and then we’d be down a diamond _and_ you’d still be basically comatose. That was so weird.”

“Thanks, Jester,” Veth said dryly. 

Caleb realized he’d been scratching at his scars and made his hands relax. 

“Glad to have you back, Veth,” he said stiffly. 

“Caleb!” she said happily. Then, abruptly, her face flushed. “Oh, gods, I acted weird, didn’t I? No, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.”

“You were pretty clingy,” Jester offered. “You even went to sleep with Caleb instead of Yeza. Which is totally weird because I swear I saw him take you to his room.”

Veth groaned and buried her face in her hands. “I snuck out. To find Caleb.”

Jester’s eyes lit up. “You _what?_ ”

“Like I said: embarrassing.”

“It was no trouble,” Caleb said quietly. He didn’t necessarily want Jester here for this conversation, but Veth knowing she was wanted overruled Caleb’s discomfort with the public admission. “You are never a bother to me. I was happy to…to protect you while you were vulnerable.” 

“Thanks, Lebby,” Veth replied. She gave Caleb a crooked, private smile that said more than her words.

Someone knocked on the door. Yeza’s face peeked through. “Oh! Jester’s here. Are you going to do the spell soon?”

“It’s already done,” Jester said. “Sorry, I forgot to wake you up.”

“Hi,” Veth said, waving. Caleb became acutely aware he was still sitting in bed with Veth, the covers rumpled and obviously used.

Yeza looked back and forth, between the two of them. He didn’t look angry. He just looked tired.

“I’m gonna leave now,” Jester said, and awkwardly made her exit with a muttered, “breakfast downstairs when you’re….ready.”

“Yeza, I can explain,” Veth started, but he shook his head. 

“I don’t know if you need to. Actions speak louder than words, and you were pretty damn clear last night. I _knew_ , when you came back to me, that one day you’d have to make a choice. We tried to balance your two lives—well, one of us tried, at least. But everything has a tipping point. Last night was it. You choose him. It’s that simple.”

“It’s not,” Veth said. She turned to Caleb. “Lebby, help me explain. It’s not like that!”

“I can’t,” Caleb said, throat aching.

“You _can’t?”_

Caleb repeated, “I can’t. I don’t know what you remember from last night, but I finally told you the truth and now…I can’t go back to how it was.”

He’d always been like this. Once his secrets were out, they were out. The truth about his parents, his past. The scars on his arms, once revealed to the Mighty Nein, remained exposed. His name, though he’d never go by Bren again, was common knowledge amongst his family. And now this, his love for Veth: it had finally gotten out and now it wouldn’t go back. 

“I want you to be happy, Veth. But the truth is, I was happy that you chose me. I would always have you choose me, if only it wouldn’t make you unhappy to make that choice.”

Veth gaped at him, open-mouthed, for a few long seconds. Then she pressed her fists against her forehead and groaned in frustration. “Gods, why is this such a clusterfuck! Why can’t it be simple?”

“Welcome to the Mighty Nein,” Caleb said with a humorless chuckle. A knock at the door cut the tension in the air. Fjord stuck his head in and said sheepishly, “we’re getting a summons from Essek. Urgently.”

“How urgently?” Caleb snapped.

“‘Dragon attack’ urgently.”

Caleb and Veth both cursed under their breath at the same time.

“Give us a minute,” Veth said.

Fjord grimaced. “Okay, but no more than that. We’ll be in the hall.”

Veth turned to Yeza. “I’m so sorry, I have to go. I don’t want to but this is—”

“Important,” Yeza finished. “Yeah, I know. Go. Be safe. Come back and tell me your answer. And I do want one, Veth. No more balancing act.”

“Okay. I owe you that. Tell Luc I love him.”

Yeza’s expression softened. “I will.”

Veth kissed her husband goodbye. He returned her kiss and embrace mechanically and dutifully wished her safe travels. She promised him that she would come back soon. But when she left the room and rejoined her friends, she slipped her hand into Caleb’s, and squeezed it tight.

—

_Mine._

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sidras-tak or brenthebrave on tumblr. come chat!


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